The Sanguinarian

The Sanguinarian

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Why I write- A Short Essay

Because Chuck’s finally asked a very basic question- why we writers write- let me attempt to summarize the answer in a few bullet points. I write because:
Ø  I believe I was born as a human sponge- destined to absorb, in heart and in mind, the essence and the truth behind everything that was going on around me. Love, loss, grief, evil, longing, joy, sex, art, books, births, deaths…you name it. To drink eat, and lap up the universe around me, so that the gist of everything resides in me, a microcosm, to be more aware of my surroundings than others.
Ø  Since I could read the alphabet, my mother put a book in my hand. Not just picture books, but children’s story books.
Ø  I’ve faced things in life. Rejection, antagonism and lack of understanding from near ones, ridicule for being different, for being overweight and awkward, for being real and not a faked version of someone else, for not caring what people think of me. I’ve been through many dark phases- so writing helps me come to terms with that darkness and realize that I’ve found the light, finally.
Ø  I think the genres I write also define me as a writer. I write crime, psychological suspense, horror and erotica. All four genres are inter-related and help me explore the darkness, the negativity that underlies everything, and how people come out of it. How everything is covered in shades of grey, and how we must have the insight to recognize that not everything’s black and white.
Ø  Writing helps me bust the stress of everyday life. I write every day, and I write a fairly lot. I work on two to three manuscripts at the same time. So my mind is always busy plotting murders, intrigues and who will fall in love with whom, who will take whom to bed, who will lecture whom on what, who will cuss whom and who will kill whom etc…you get the drift. Writing a lot helps me put things in perspective, and helps me take failure and success in stride.
Ø  Writing has helped me improve my memory, logistic and analytical skills. Since it helps me get everything into perspective, writing has made me more rational, more pragmatic and more intelligent. It has helped me greatly as a student and researcher. I never take anything at face value, but try to look deeper to find out the truth. As a writer, I observe people and events around me, and it helps me understand the world better. Therefore, I believe that writers don’t look at the world- they see through it.
Ø  Writing helps me find my voice, what I stand for, what I believe in, what I despise. That’s why no two writers are the same- a good writer writes in their own distinctive voice and creates beautiful prose.
Ø  Writing makes me feel better about myself. I’m not wasting time over stupid social gatherings (except book launches, write-ins and chat with close friends- those are not a waste of time), dumbass parties, or bitching about people to other people, wallowing in frivolity and mediocrity, or worse. I’m utilizing my time to create something hopefully of good redeeming value, something which will connect with other people on a profound, personal level, and perhaps make them happy, and let them know that they’re not alone. When I sum up what I’ve done in my life, creating something valuable and beautiful will give me an indication of a life well lived, and well spent.
Ø  Writing gives me a great excuse to eat chocolate, savor good food and drink lots of coffee ( I call it The Writers’ Nutrition).
Ø  If I don’t write, I will not be able to vomit the thousands of worlds, experiences, people, and other things residing in my neurons. My experiences, the things I observe and learn, the stories I absorb from books and which morph into other books in my fertile imagination, the untold feelings- all of these are constantly knocking on the inside of my head. Write us down now, they always say. If I don’t write, the knocking grows insistent till I’m forced to open the laptop and type down my thoughts.
Ø  Writing has helped me navigate through the dark, the negative and turn myself into a positive, confident, outspoken, self-assured person, and made me unafraid of my naysayers and detractors.
Ø  Writing is part of my identity. It gives meaning to my life, and helps me relate to other writers- sentient beings who live for almost the same ideals as I do.


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